About that journey.

I have wrote a newsletter post about my recent journey to Montenegro-

I had to renew my passport and had really little will to visit this tiny state. But things change and this is the most natural change I've felt in a long time.

 This is Montenegro, a tiny state in the south of ex Yugoslavian republics. I used to live there as a teenager from 1992 till 1995, in the midst of the civil war. In 1995 I moved to Italy and been living here ever since.

I always felt as a person who hadn't much opportunity to chose where to live, how to live and has had no control of her own life due to external facts and situations, and in general had a very horrible life, precisely start of it. This is also an ill narrative you perpetuate when you want to diminish yourself, your worth and events and moments that had you in.
I'm the worst to myself sometimes and just lately I am trying to disintegrate this kind of story. Because when I got back to Montenegro this June, after many years, something apparently strange occurred, I remembered all the wonderful moments I had with my new friends, who were refugees as me, had nothing and had to chose between pair of shoes and food.
We really had it. The empathy, understanding, enlightenment and solidarity. I never found anything like this afterwards, and the memory of this moments while staying in Montenegro this June, struck me as much as the idea of myself as brave and emphatic human when kid/teenager.
I had junkies for friends, mental illness and outcast people and my mother was always severely worried about their influence on me. I always had to reassure her that while they're with me, they don't offer me nothing, which was true, and I kind of prefer their friendship to any other. We were all on slippery ends of trying to behave the best we can, in virtue of all that was happening to us.
in this journey to Montenegro, good stuff, good memories, completely outlived the bad ones, for how much I tried sometimes to get ahold of the bad. I have reconnected with myself, with my former self, braver self, in an minimum of an effort. It was a good journey in a beautiful country and I felt at peace somehow. And I will probably be back, more often. (A tiny promise).
If you have the occasion, do visit this country as it is very, very generous to a traveler.


xx, D.

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